Sometimes I just hate to write blog because it represent what I think at this moment. Somehow, I think writing blog can let me view my thinking and my own development from time to time. My blogs are not interesting and sometimes idiotic to read. But I am a fan of my own product. I was energetic and emotional of most time and became calm and tranquil at time just after 2 months. Things can really be chaotic and uncontrollable. So weird..
What I wanted, something that I believe with strong inspiration can be different. That was really something I really do not believe. I doubted myself and sat alone thinking what was actually happening and I sought for answer. As usual answer won't come to me so easily. I need more time and again I believe I need long period to get things under control.
I look around, I see friends who take things for granted and some friends who did not complain even he/she is in really hard situation. Those are not something easily solved problems. But they are taking the problem easy and dealt with them with patience and intelligence. These are something I really need to learn. There are really great people outside, for example my team manager who can multitask and still possessed great E.Q. Seniors who helped us without being asked for and etc.
What I am really feeling now can be related to my first year in University. What I have used to for few years back changed drastically when I moved to next stage. Just like I was very used to my life in my hometown for many years were to changed to a place so strange to me and yet I need to survive alone with all the support and my loved ones not with me. I still remembered that feeling almost put me in hell. Great great depression stacked with the feeling of helpless. For that, I remembered I made a brilliant move and shifted to hall. A place that drag me out of the edge of helplessness. A place where people are so united and helpful. A place where I can apportion my attention to other things and understand there are more to cherish than the sadness that hunted me.
Also there was the place I achieved some success and did some silly mistakes.
I just watched the movie "13 going on 30" and that enlightened me a lot. Remember not to listen to music when one is not in the mood because the lyrics can means more than usual. Lyrics can make someone sad, it is the same to movie. The moral of the movie can bring greater impact than usual. I watched this movie last year and I do not felt I what I feel just now. That was something I knew long ago. I think there are things I need to let go and move on.
Tomorrow will be better =D
Horace
