I have worked for almost 3 months. Time past in blink of eye. I remembered the process of hunting jobs was very demotivating and thanks to people around me, I got through the hard time. I believe no one can go through hardship alone easily because we need help and I believe this it is the same to others. It is always give and take and we must learn to give before take.
I remembered after my final semester I was very rebellious and wanted to do whatever that I wish and at the same time I did not want things get out of hands.Finally, I still managed to control myself however things still screwed up. I always made a lot of mistakes in my life and I tried hard to correct them immediately. Some mistakes are trivial and some are still haunting me untill today. So whenever I make decision I will have to think about the consequences since I had paid big enough for the previous mistakes.
I think life has it ups and downs- things come and goes just like that. I learned the most when I had my second girl in my life. I was not deserved to have such nice girl friend because I was not suitable for her and she gave me almost everything I have today. From her I learned to act instead of doing just talk. I was forced to the edge of emptiness and was then bounced back to propel and excel. I lived in sorrows and later learn to cherish more. All come with big opportunity cost which prolong for years. I really wanted to give a big thank to her. She has got what she deserved. Amazing girl in my life.
Later on, after I have gone through all the hardship with my friends and family around, I met my third girl. She was slow and childish. With not-so-solid reasons I started with her and things went very terrible at the beginning. I realized I committed to something I might not be able to handle. I was filled with difficult tasks by her and at times I did not really appreciate her but I still gave my best to do what I can. She loved me a lots and learned to compromise so that we can get together better. During this period I have a lots of struggles and at time I need to compromise and also I learn to live with her because I was expecting more. Times passed really fast and in 2 years time, she became a total different girl I knew at the beginning, of course that was without mentioning all the misunderstanding and big/small quarrels we had. I was calm most of the time and she got very emotional most of the time. I did not like to propose my feeling most of the time and she wanted me to propose most of the time. She likes surprise in term of material wise(like roses or picture drawn by me or a love letter) but I like to prepare event that got us spend time together. So much difference and we still got together for 2 years. There was huge compromises between us that keep us together.
After 2 years, we came to the end where we both agree on 1 thing- we are after different things. She gave me the most memorable birthday in my life compared to all the previous celebration and I understand 1 thing during the birthday. My subconscious wants me to settle down while myself, Horace wanted to do more before settle down. I had this dilemma for 3 months and I kept thinking of the solution and the answer for it.
The reasons that my subconscious wanted me to settle down was because when I felt hopeless- hunted for jobs for 2 months and went for multiple interviews but did not get through most of the time at the second interview, I need to have someone to rely on. My parents no longer near me and I have a feeling that I do not want to make them worry about me. I believe this must be man's ego. We all have this ego at different level and I happened to have much ego. I wanted someone to go through our voyage and achieve something together. I wanted someone to be there for me when I collapse even though I stood strong most of the time. Just that few moment when I need my girl to sit beside me and lend me support so that I can keep moving. I also had my best kiss in my life at my recent birthday. At that time I was very upset most of the time because problems kept occurring and I had to deal with my working life. I also need to handle my love life. I had my best surprise in my life when I came back from work, my girl was at my home with all my friends waiting for me to come back. I step to my house's front door and she was standing in front of the door and gave me a welcome kiss. I couldn't imagine any better scenario that could happen to me in my life. At that moment of time, I felt happiness and contented if there were anything to happen to me. All this reasons wanted me to settle down. I was really touched at the day of my birthday because all my hall's friends and house mates made the party so complete. Wx, Cs and Js prepared so much for me and kept me blind from all the preparation until the very end. I went to my room after having the welcome kiss by my girl and open my room's doors, I see my room was fully packed with all of them. I thanks all those who made my birthday so so memorable.
I had learned a lot and I know what to do when the same things happen to me again. I will treat them with heart and will make them last longer if not forever- my friends, my love, my family and my pets(LOLX).
My work in the first 3 months was not smooth and I got a lot of difficulty at most of the time and at time I really need someone to be by my side. I wish for that so much and I did not get what I wished. Today, without all I wanted to at my down time, I have gone through almost all of them. I am happy now and I am living a really good life everyday. I do not have time to do sports anymore but I tried my best to keep my diet and my health at good level. I also no longer able to afford to sleep late and slack so much because I have a lot of commitment to cope with. I am now contented and I will always move to seek for more.
I believe in this quotation more as I grow- If things are to be mine, they will. If things are not meant to be mine, they will not.
Horace-on the day when he need not attend work on Saturday
